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Scribblin snippets

These are some excerpts from the afore mentioned short story. The original was lost so, I am having to piece it together from memory, and this is what I have so far...

Alice stood in front of the mirror staring, wide eyed, but not looking.. No, never looking. She rocked to a slow steady rhythm side to side, the cool tile under her bare feet a peculiar comfort to her. Her Jaw was a little slack, her posture a little slumped, her head a little leaning… a little forward. No! She snapped back, looking left and right, to see if anyone noticed her reaction. She loved mirrors, always had, even now. She could keep herself from looking, but she also knew she could not, should not get too close.
She hated this place. In all its white sterile-ness. The green scrubs, the white gowns, the squeaky shoes… To many places for him to hide. She balled up her hands into fists and pressed them against her temples. She sqwunched her face up tight. It must be time for my meds, Alice thought. She only thought of him when it was time for her pills... Pills… A pill to make you happy, a pill to make you sleep. A pill to make you small inside, a pill to make you meek. Eat me! Drink me! She started to pound her temples with her fists lightly. It had been years since her last hallucination, but the voices still came from time to time.
"Alice?", the familiar voice of doctor Weiss emanated from behind her. She turned. Her white gown was clinging to her adolescence in ways that made her uncomfortable in front of this man. He was short, a little round, with a bushy mustache and small glasses. He wore white too, but his was a jacket not a gown. He carried a clipboard, she noticed.
Alice lost track of her days often, but the clipboard in hand meant it was a talky day… talky, talky. Talk about what you see, Alice. Talk about what you hear, Alice. Talk about the dead mother, Alice. Talk about what he did to you…
"I think it's time for my meds", Alice said, not making eye contact. "It is time for my meds, isn't it?" This time she looked up. Doctor Weiss' look of concern melted into a smile. He looked down at his watch.
"You know, I do believe your right", he said with to much of a smile. "Lets go get your meds, and then its off to session, sound good?" Alice nodded, her stringy dark hair barely moved.
"Good", he looked at his clipboard as he said this and then his watch, "now hurry up, won't do to be late".
Alice started shuffling her way to the meds counter. He always said that… every time. won't do to be late! She wished he wouldn't say that. She hated when he said that.
* * *
Alice woke to the sounds of scurrying. She could still feel the effects of her sleeping pills and sat up in a world made of jell-o. She heard the noise again, a sort of scratching-scurrying sound on the tile floor in the hallway. She suddenly felt very cold. Her heart started to pound as she stared wide eyed at the little safety glassed window in her door.
S'just the meds getting the better of me, she thought, happens sometimes.. S'nothin to be scared of.
The scruffling was getting closer and Alice could hear another noise tagging along. It was the sound of an animal scenting its food. This was a big something, however, and Alice was having difficulty calming herself down.
Then she saw the shadow. First it filled her little window with inky black. Then it did something much worse. It stayed there.. Scruffling and snuffling slightly. Trying to look into the dark of Alice's room. Alice couldn't help but remember the saying "when one stares into the darkness for long, eventually.. it stares back". She gave out a quiet, maniacal giggle. All the meds, and all the counseling, and all the books, and all the preaching and this… thing… this hallucination, was right outside her door. Five years of her life in this pit, and for what?
Alice got mad.
She stood up on her bed and with clenched fists yelled, "What are you waiting for you son of a bitch?! Come on in and I'll rip your fucking head off!"
The shadow accepted her invitation. It walked through the door which was no door, and entered the room which was no room. It was an animal to be sure. It had a large gaping maw, filled with jagged teeth, which dripped with smoky shadow stuff. Long, pointy but droopy ears clung to the sides of its head. It walked on two legs, like it was supposed to walk on all four but was embarrassed to. Its body was the kind of black the even darkness falls into, and was a good foot taller than any man. It stood with a hunch, either because of the low ceiling or the weight of own malice.
It's eyes… Alice was petrified with rage, but could not bring herself to look into those eyes. It moved forward. She couldn't tell where its claws ended and its inky hands began, but they were reaching for her now. Alice screamed and lunged at the beast. In one swift motion it caught her and threw her into the wall. She felt, and heard the sound of, breaking glass as she hit.
There's no mirror in my room! she thought, they don't allow it… I'm finally, totally losing it.
Alice's ears were ringing and her sight dimmed. She reached back and found a shard of glass that, of course, was not glass. Clenching it tight enough to split her skin, she swung with all her strength and in one stroke cut through the its smoky black neck, severing the beasts head. There was a loud crack, followed by the sound of glass raining all around her. Alice's world of green scrubs, cool tile floors and men with clipboards melted out from under her as her vision faded to black.
Alice fell.

***


These are a couple of poems from a short story I am re-writing. I have been insipred by someone (gee I wonder who :P) to share some of my writings in my blog. I do welcome any comments or critisism.


Rhyme of the Cheshire cat.

..Around and ..round it goes.
A flat and blackened thing,
Filled with a word or two,
This is my gift to you..

Happy to be encumbered
A nail or two, or three
Make holes to stop the bleeding
This is my gift to me!

Will you bend, will you break?
When you smile, does it ache?
Nothing came to good , or stayed the same

Wear the mask when you laugh?
Are you whole, or are you half?
Show me now your rows of tombstone teeth

For I tell you honestly
In your mad calamity
Where lips and mind are out of pace

It..s must be hard to pretend
that remembering was your friend
When you look the looking glass in the face..



Alice..s answer.

..Around and ..round it goes
A light but sturdy thing
Filled with a thought or two
That is my gift to you.

Unbound from my fetters
Opened eyes so I may see
Shed tears to stop my bleeding
This is my gift to me..

Tears welled up in her eyes, and with determination she continued.

..I bent, I did not break
When I smiled they called me fake
But something came to good all the same

It happened all to fast
I..m afraid it will not last
But every day, I give myself my name

So maybe, in the end
In this I should depend
that the whole of my everything, does its thing in me

For as crazy as it sounds
This one thing I have found
I can choose, and that..s what makes me free!..

Cat leaned back on the mushroom, eyeing Alice critically. He took long thoughtful puffs on his hooka.
..Don..t even.., Alice said with a crooked smile. ..That was good, and you know it..
Cat grinned his grinny-est grin, and with a wave of his hand a looking glass appeared before her. Alice could see the hospital instead of her own reflection. Cat leaned forward, still grinning, and rested his chin on the top of the mirror and said.

..Care to.. Dare to, join the dance?..

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December 2010

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